SHMUPS!

Heavy Unit - TOHO

Heavy Unit - how NOT to make a shooter...

Reviewed by Roger Post

Well, obviously I love shumps, and can play almost any of them, but there's just something about Heavy Unit that screams, "Don't play me!"

I'm really going to blast this game, and if I'm being unfair, I apologize to that die hard, Heavy Unit fan who's gotta be out there somewhere. All the reviews written are the opinions of the person playing, and to this schooled gamer it stinks.

Basic shooter, one button forward shot, other unlimited bombs like Gradius, the only unique feature is that the ship can transform into a robot by getting an I picture; but the robot has no new abilities! In fact, he is way to large and easy to get killed! Don't get the "I"con at all costs....

Giant claw things that drop on level one.

(I can tell you are really excited at the prospect of reviewing this one - Malc)

Have you really continued to play this far? A bullheaded mini boss.

Boss 1 could have been taken straight from Aliens, with a snapping little head protruding from the bottom.

Level two, more of the same.....AVOID that icon.

Level two's boss just falls apart after a few shots......I guess game makers can learn from their mistakes. If this were true in my case, I'd be a genius.

The snake like things on level three are annoying because they are fast and rapidly change direction.

More level three hootananny.

Now I'm frustrated enough to stop playing this game. The mid boss here, later becoming the end boss, has parts that fly in behind you and are hard to dodge.

Here he is again, with even more parts....I wish he'd stop upgrading.

Level four has a bio theme....I can think of a hundred things I'd rather be doing by this point.

Level four mid boss, similar to the R-type snake, only more aggressive.

Boss of level four. His weapons tend to say "this end up".

OK, look close to see little blue orbs. These emit "rain" which falls different ways, and you have to learn the pattern (i.e. die a lot). Hopefully you have shields, and a wider selection of games.

You have to fight all the bosses again (groan). Then up to the fifth boss, a mirror of yourself, how original......watch the robot form, its fast. Really interesting screen shot this eh?

I was SO glad to see this message.

Well, at least the last guy looks kinda cool....he "builds" in so watch your back. By the way, he's also so big you have about 10% of the screen to work with, so no mistakes. He corners you and shoots bullets, but isn't too too hard.

Now this is just the overly sugared icing on the stale, moldy green cake. I want my money back!

Glad this is just a quickshot review.......

Hullo Rog! Malc here...This must be the best end screen I've ever seen! Great graphics eh?

No doubt we'll get a load of mail asking why this was reviewed, and here's the reason: You've got to see the bad to appreciate the good. Boy is this one bad.

I think we should start a fund to get Roger some good new games eh?

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