SHMUPS

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>> FANTAVISION INSPIRATION?

I love twinkly lights, and Capcom obliged by shoving in this aerial view of a sparkly night time city. It's so beautiful I could cry. I frequently bawl my eyes out playing fantavision. (not really)

Watch out for the v-formation of upsidedown jets trying to wedge up yer arse. Could result in tears. (take that word as you will, ambiguity intended)

<< LE SANCHO PEDRO, OUI?

I'd expect this underground tank boss to be in Mexico, or Spain at least. It's slap bang in the middle of France though. So, shouldn't it be called "Saint Pierre" or something?

Eh, it's not an underground tank at all, stupid me (which it DOES looks like) Instead its a triplerail-mounted train affair. I'll give you a choochoo to chew on, laddie.

>> THE BIG ONE

So big it needs three sets of tracks to run on. All the better to derail you with, my dear.

Never mind all your bristling guns and rockets, I have three dimensions* of freedom to move in mate, all you have is a daft straight line. Dodge this, motherfugger.....hah

*If it was real life, it would be
3 dimensions, ok? Having said that, consider the nonsensical fact that planes quite often go BACKWARDS in shmups, and the odds on spikey big train winning in real life would be much higher.

Looks pish here, but this zoomy animation of your plane descending to the tracks is amazing ingame.

<< CHASE THE EXPRESS!

...and blow it to bits, naturally. Fast and exciting this bit, especially if you are one of those "people" who adore trains.

See if you can spot its number so you can write it in your stupid little black book of train numbers or whatever you 'collect'. Get a proper hobby.

>> GOOD DOGS DON'T BET

"And neither on grand time the green sasquatch noticed. Rife be they, on your ripe and heaving feet, they squirm endlessly."

Translation programmes can be funny in their complete inaccuracy. Apparently Sancho Pedro means Saint Peter in Spanish.

If you want to know about Saint Peter, visit this site: www.fssp.com What a URL eh? sounds like the noise you make when you have a pube in your teeth. FSSSsssssPP!

Alternatively, have a look at LEVEL 6ťť

<< CATARACTS REMOVED

I think I'm a scaredy cat. Laser surgery to correct severe short sightedness is quite simple and safe these days, but I'm not letting any young doctor near them with a bloody great laser.

No way Jose. Not on your Nelly. I'll stick to my specs thanks very much. Nice to see a big laser in the game though, sometimes pink bullets get wearisome.

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